This is my place to hang my DA II Fandom hat, either by reblogging my love for Fenris & Anders or passing on fics or amazing art.
Logo and icon art by Jakface and msbarrows., from my request for Fenris in a suit.
If you seek my usual online haunts, check the link for my other online hangouts.
For my friends who are Fenders Fans: For Fenders Fans Tumblr
Ofcourse you can M’Lady. After all it’s a free country. I must warn you that my wife is a fierce warrior and possessive lover.
If you have a smartphone that can read QR codes can you test the image for me? It should lead to a...
Are going to suck. Our office is moving next week, so this week I have to sort, pack and clean my current space.
Still up in the air about the agent visit, and moving stresses me out. I’ll be channeling my inner Anders, with “trash, trash, keep …” as I go through two years worth of stuff.
New office is smaller and has a glass door. Bah :(
So I’ll be kind of MIA over the next week and a half till we’re moved and set up in our new space next week. Home Internet is sporadic until my service appointment Thursday.
Now back to my commute…hope your day or night is going well.
Road Trip Statistics
Longueuil, QC - Montreal, QC - Levack, ON - Chicago, IL - Rochester, NY - Montreal, QC - Longueuil, QC:
3346km (2079mi) / 29hrs + random stops - wheeee~
Blisters: 1, from keeping my foot on the accelerator for that much distance
Ontario mosquito bites: 1 Ontario mosquito kills: 3 —> I win
Fastest cruising speed: 85mph, in Michigan (people don’t read signs maybe? or are in a hurry to get to the next rest area to relieve themselves, there were so few…)
Random photo/quote of the trip:
Serious fabulous thanks to cypheroftyr for hosting us, and it was great to meet the chicago gang!!! ♥
You are very welcome my dear anon! You and Abhorsen always have a place to stay when you are in Chicago as long as I am here. It was wonderful having you here and Genki misses you talking to him in Quebecois. ♥
I’m quickly veering into meltdown/shutdown mode here and it’s not good.
Now that I think about it, I kinda like being single
There’s not really anyone around that I am really, really into
mostly cause it’s hard to find someone with my interests and stuff
so I’m good with being single for now
unless I manage to find a super sexy nerdy girlfriend or something
I volunteer even though I am halfway around the fucking continent. Why is life so fucking unfair?
I’m paying for two days straight of drinking, exertion and little water to be had in-between.
Saturday I totally rearranged the living room. I got rid of a futon (more like ditched the futon pad, disassembled the frame and stored it, but it’s out of the living room now). Flipped where the comp desk and entertainment center are with the other futon and rack with my games.
It opens up the living room but I didn’t think about one part of it. My comp chair is now in the way of the coffee table. So either I need to put the coffee table to the side of the futon or wheel my chair out of the way if I’m not at my comp. Meh, it’s more open in here finally and that’s what I wanted.
Then a party for my friends 42’nd. Many towels were brought in preparation for any improbable eventuality. Also much beer was consumed, I was a jungle gym for their kitties and I got to snuggle with a friend of mine who’s leaving for grad school soon.
Hung with E and got to break in his new sectional. ;) I wonder if we scandalized the neighbors? ;)
Sunday was all about Pride… got up, had breakfast with E then home to get cleaned up, change and do the annual scavenger hunt for my friends. Finally found them, and hung about till I found angelsscream, EM and his sis then we found foods. Blessed A/C and real food.
The rest of the evening was spent chilling, enjoying the botanics gin that the lovely maradydd and her guy gifted me with when she breeze through town a couple weeks ago.
Asides from posting cock cookies, and asking for dirty asks… and chatting up some of you fine folks, I had a very mellow evening, but then I fell over asleep in my chair… smooth gin was excellent but kicked my ass when I wasn’t looking.
So apologies to anyone I was chatting with and just went *poof* on. I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Now to get my ass in gear and get out the door on time. I was late every day last week, and I should nip that trend in the bud.
signing onto any instant messaging program is basically like consigning myself to staring at my buddy list and all the people i want to talk to saying ‘just one more minute and i’ll message them!’until, one by one, they all sign off.
You can talk to me any time bb, you know I love you and I crave talking to you outside of asks and fan mails and the occasional email.
But I get the … oh hey that cool person I like is on, but maybe, just maybe I am bothering if I say hi? AUGH, RUN AWAY.
So recently I reached a very cool 150 followers - and to say THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME I wanted to do a giveaway!
Creativity is my favourite part of fandom. In particular I love seeing everyone’s PCs - in Bioware games (particularly Dragon Age and Mass Effect, my main fandoms) there is a lot of versatility with the character creators, and I never tire of seeing the awesome characters you come up with.
So I’m giving away one of my digital bust sketches.
What you get:
- Three bust sketches of your Warden, Hawke or Shepard on one canvas. Example:
To enter, you need to either like or reblog this post. Either or will give you one entry into the giveaway.
Sorry, but you do need to be following me to enter this giveaway. I know the URL of almost every person who follows me, and I will be checking. ;) any new followers after this giveaway is initially posted will also be eligible to enter.
The giveaway runs until Wednesday 23rd of May until 12:00am CDT (Chicago time, for anyone who lives in the area).
The winner will be chosen by a random number generator.
Once again thank you everyone so much for being interested in my little corner of the universe. <3
Congrats! <3 and it took me a moment to recognize the new user name. :)
My mother ringing me up at 0500 repeatedly for something she let get to a critical stage, then expecting me to fix it with money I don’t have is NOT how I wanted to start my day.
She does this shit all the fucking time. She is on a fixed income. She has been on this same fixed income since I was 18 years old. She acts like I’m this on call reserve of money and freaks out when she lets things get to a critical point and then when I don’t jump to help I get the water works.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this… mostly to vent, but goddamn can I catch a break? Some how?
I am not in the habit of responding to anon hate, but I am going to do it now because it is about something very, very serious. This is the only time I will bring this up, and I am doing it because apparently it needs to be addressed. Hostile greyfaces, we need to talk about things that are just not on.
Before that, I would also like to clarify once more that I am not a fanweek mod, so suggesting things and bringing your complaints to me it not the most effective way to go about it as I do not have the time to forward your opinions to the mods.
I am also not a heterosexual, and I firmly believe that sex is what you make it, and that no one else but you yourself ever have the right to decide over what you do and what to call it. I have explained my stance on this before, and there is no need to message me about this and throw insults at me based on assumptions about my orientation.
But what absolutely no one is allowed to do is to suggest that a person needs to be raped, if they are to use a certain word. There are some things you just do not say to anyone ever, and this is one of those things.
You do not know anything about what the person you are sending a message to has gone through before. You do not know who is a survivor of abuse and might be triggered to hell and back by such comments, who might feel that you mean that they deserved whatever happened to them. You do not know who is still struggling and doing their best to defeat past bad experiences. You do not know who it will be outright dangerous to send such comments to. In any case, there are things you just do not say to people, whatever mistakes they have made.
I realise that this is something that will open me up for even more hate, but I feel that this is something that needs to be said. Hate is not something that is going to drive me away, either. I belong here just as much as anyone else, and I have people here I love and want to be around. Their support and love means so much more to me than hostile comments ever could.
But do not ever suggest that someone needs to be raped. Not ever.
That last bold line? File under shit that no one should ever have to remind people of, never.
You have my support combo, always.
There’s been… a lot of negativity flying around lately, both in specific and in general. And I’ve said my piece and washed my hands of the worst of it, but there are still a lot of lingering bad feelings around. A lot of people are feeling bad about themselves and each other.
But I’m so tired of bad feelings. And there are a lot of people I just want to go to and shower with hugs and love and support, but I only have so much time and so much energy and limited capacity for everything.
I refuse to let the joy be sucked out of something I really love so much. And it’s disheartening when I see the entire fandom being labeled as ‘disgusting’.
So all I can do at the moment is link to a couple of posts that I made a month or two back, which aren’t technically pertinent to the most recent situation, but are more about negative feelings in general, and should be pertinent to anyone who is, at any time, feeling down on themselves, because sometimes I think that these things are easy to forget, especially in light of negativity.
I just need to go to bed and think about the good things people can and have done for each other in this fandom for a while, and the people’s lives who have been made better in some way by being a part of it.
Maybe it’s selfish of me to want to dwell on the good things. Some disgusting things do happen in this fandom, yes. It’s an unfortunate truth. It’s not a happy fairytale place where everything is perfect, and I’m not naive or stupid enough to expect that.
But it’s not all bad. Not even close.
I have been uncharacteristically quiet for a while. The last preparations for the show and the board meeting took a lot out of me. I talked with the insurance company, too. Three people from it. And no one knew about that rule, and what to do. Three of them had absolutely no idea of the company’s policies regarding this. So someone will call me tomorrow and, hopefully, have some kind of clue. I am not having much faith in this insurance company, I must say. They do not seem very capable.
But you know who is?
Because I won the election. I am the new Club President! Or Board Chairman/Totally The Boss/Leader of the Model Horse People/Chairperson, but I think Club President is the official translation, technically, although not the most badass one. In any case, I totally won. I really do feel like I have just defeated a really, really tough boss. I have faced a lot of fears, recently, and I have made a lot of things work that seemed really impossible when I first encountered them, and they did eat my life for a while but I fought back and emerged victorious! So yes. Boss battle, that is what I have been doing lately. And now I feel like such a boss. Like, WHO IS THE BOSS BATTLE NOW, EH, LIFE? So I feel like I have won more than that election, and overcome more fears, and kind of grew a little as a person, as well. And I think that with this position, I will continue to grow and feel more confident about myself in general, and I think that I will be able to do some great things. I will do my very best to do all the great things I can do! I think that this will do me good, and that I will do the club good. Actually? I think that it is alright for me to say that I know it will, and I know I will, because I will give this my all and I have so many ideas that has already gotten their yes from the rest of the Board, and… when I give something my all, I really want to push through the limit and get better, and I think that, that is a way for me to grow. So I will grow.
I feel like a great big weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I am really really tired, but it feels like a good kind of tired. I have even been able to sleep, actually sleep, for a great many hours. I am really, really happy about all this, and I think that I will have more energy from now on, and have it easier to focus. And I want to thank you all for wishing me luck and rooting for me, and hoping, and believing that I could do this. It really does mean a lot to me, it really really does. I have kept all your kind words (and creative ways to swear at life!) in my heart these days, and they have really helped me, you have really helped me. So I just, I want you to know that. Thank you. And now I will start answering the numbers you have sent me, belated as they are.
But first! Not only did I face my daylight horrors and stared them down; I totally beat their asses. I totally showed life who the boss is, here. I feel like there are less things holding me back, now. Not everything is suddenly magically solved and easier, but I think that since I could do all this, I will be able to tackle the rest, too. It might take time, but I believe I can do it. I am not going to let fear hold me back.
Congratulations Combo! <3!!! I am so happy for you and proud of you. *does a happy little dance for your victory*
I hope you are well and enjoying that victory lap.
This is relevant to IRL nonsense I’m dealing with and I needed to purge it. Feel free to scroll by at your discretion. I’d normally cut this, but this time I’m just not.
I wish that more people could comprehend that being healthy and able-bodied is also a form of privilege, and people who are not healthy and/or able-bodied are not suffering from some moral failing or defect in their personal character that has brought some well-deserved misfortune upon them. That we are not just whining to get out of doing things or because we’re lazy and don’t want to do them.
People with illnesses, especially chronic, poorly-understood or difficult-to-diagnose illnesses, often get treated like shit, usually through ignorance, whether well-meaning or not. We’re treated with skepticism and disbelief, at best. Sometimes being ignored seems preferable to the scrutiny.
And it’s done to us by family. By friends. By random strangers. By employers and coworkers. By the very doctors and healthcare professionals that they’re forced to rely on (because to so many of them, ‘we can’t figure out what’s wrong with you’ so often means ‘you must be faking it’, usually with the additional added sting of, ‘because you want drugs’). Not to mention dealing with insurance providers.
But we are not lazy because we have to walk or move around more slowly than you. We are not irresponsible because sometimes we have to just say, “Hey, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” We are not pissing on your fun parade by having to bow out of some shared leisure activity earlier than you. We are not saying we don’t like you or want to spend time with you just because we’re too tired or sick or in pain to engage in an outing or activity that will leave us in poor physical shape and we have other necessary things we need to save our energy for. When we say we’re not feeling well, it’s not for attention or pity, it’s because it’s the truth, not because we want a pat on the head or a medal for simply existing. We are not liars because we don’t fit into the textbook definition of a disease, or because we have some obscure or little-known condition that you haven’t heard about yet. We are not drug seekers because we’re looking for a way to cope with our chronic, debilitating pain.
We just have a hard time functioning like you because our bodies don’t fucking work properly. Pile depression and anxiety and any of a multitude of other chronic mental/psychological issues on top of it and think about how it feels to live like that every single day. Nevermind the financial drain, or the drain on our friendships and family relationships and how it affects our work performance, where people are generally rewarded for productivity (an area we often do poorly in), rather than effort.
Remember how you felt when you had the flu, that one time? Or that one time you really messed up your back doing yard work? Or that really nasty cold you caught that hung on for weeks and weeks? Remember how much you ached after going on that five mile run for the first time in forever, or after moving all your boxes and furniture when you settled into a new place? Imagine if you felt like that every day and sometimes it got a little better and sometimes it got a little worse but it never ever actually went away.
Because when you have the flu, or a cold, or you ache after a really exhausting run, you know that eventually you’ll feel better and everything will go back to normal.
But someone with long-term, chronic, debilitating illness? For us, that _is_ ‘normal’.
And yet, the generic response I hear most often is that I need to ‘suck it up’ and ‘grow up’ and ‘be an adult’ like everyone else has to, because hey, they had to go to work when they had a sore back that one time, or when they had a really bad cold last month, so why should I get any special treatment? Because it’s totally the same thing. And the person you’re talking to really believes that it is exactly the same. And that’s the problem.
So cut us some slack, and try to exercise some understanding or at the very least tolerance in lieu of judgement and presumptions about our character and moral failings, would you?
A good reminder for those of us who have friends, family, colleagues who suffer from chronic pain/illness.
Love to you today impressioniste and always. <3